Good evening, Internet. The days after Ash Wednesday were simply a quiz to see if I could handle the true challenge: Week after week without my evening meal. But these past days have taught me something about myself: I go to food whenever I have a problem, and frankly, that's a problem. Food was given to us by God as a means of sustainment and enjoyment. But like all gifts that God gives us, food too can be abused and be taken away from its original intent.
It is in this situation that I find myself reflecting on today. Going without dinner these couple of days has brought new meaning to Matthew 4:4: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." Also, since Ash Wednesday, I've been reflecting on my mortality, something that has really come into focus lately for me. To realize that I'm not promised tomorrow, and that at any moment I could very well die and the world would go on without me is very humbling. I think we all would like to think that we're somewhat important to the people around us, and in a sense we are.
But the contribution that we have brought to this world will die along with us, and the world will continue as it has been for millenia. I am not as important as I think myself to be. It truly is a sobering realization. As I trek with Jesus during my journey through my own wilderness, I have, like our Lord, been tempted by the devil. Many temptations I have overcome with the grace of God; other battles have left me spiritually wounded. But all in all, it has made me rely on Christ all the more, and that always is a good thing. But that won't stop the ancient serpent from trying to tempt me once again.
During Lent, the Church enters into a time of sorrow and contrition for our sins which we have commited, and with them incur the righteous wrath of God. But bringing to memory the sacrifice that Christ made for us makes the discipline of our heavenly Father something not to fear but to embrace with complete submission of will, recognizing that He indeed knows best. He is God, after all. Something that I must remember about Lent is that it always points to the cross. The paradoxical cross. where sins are atoned for, true love is shown, and suffering is glorified.
Although the hymns sung throughout these coming days speak especially of Christ's Passion, they all point to the light of the Resurrection that is approaching, which gives a spark of joy during these days of repentance. Lent, like the season of Advent, is a time to prepare our hearts, not for the coming of our Lord (though that is something that should always be in our minds), but to realize the somber truth that it was YOUR sins that put Christ on the cross.
I've gone on too long, so I'm going to end it here. Have a wonderful day/night, wherever and whoever you are.
God bless,
Manny Tovar
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